Yesterday, Zach, the first of the pups succumbed to poisoning he got from his mom, who was in turn poisoned by an unknown a*shole. Today, Tootsie, Zachie's sister followed him to heaven.
From what my kuya said, Aska, the mom
was poisoned just a fe
w months back whe
n she was already staying in the
house in Marikina. Some good-for-nothing, mean devil disguised as w
hat is a sorry excuse fo
r a man poisoned her in order to loot the pl
ace.
She's a sweet dog, although I'm not close with her mainly because s
he's dead scared of people. But she's a good dog, never goes where she isn't supposed to go, never touches anything she isn't suppo
sed to touch, and being treat
ed like that by some no-good son-of-a... does not do
her
justice. She is still with us, albe
it very weak. I haven't seen her as of late but I know that she's still the same old
Aska.
After that incident, and a
lso because of a number of dogs we've lost after
bringing them to Marikina, my cousin decided to bring home two of her pups to
Makati, Zach and Tootsie. They're really cute and super kulit puppies and although I got annoyed at times because of their irregular bowel movement (I swear, you pick them up for a moment, and
when you put them down... eew), I still love them to death because we haven't had puppies for the longest time, and they
were two very welcome additions to the family.
And now, they're gone... Just like that. My tita was the one who
was there with Tootsie while she was dying. I've seen some of our dogs as they were dying and I'm telling you, when they breathe in their last breath, and vomit their last meal out, and right after they stop moving, you feel as though part of you died with them. And it feels even worse because you were with them as they were dying, but you can't do anything. My tita says "para akong dinadagukan," because more than
watching Tootsie and Zachie die, she was the one who had to clean up after. I told her that it would be best if she lets the feelings out but she just said, "ayoko, itatawa ko na lang." It's funny
how people, yours truly included, deal with emotions, especially those that get you straight at the core of your heart, if there is such a thing.
Am I sad? Yes, of course because to me, my dogs are not just house pets. They are friends, they are family. And when they leave and go to the beyond, it's as if you're closing a chapter of your life you don't want to end yet. Right after I returned to my apartment after helping my tita clean up, I told my dogs, "kayo, wag nyo ko iiwan ha." And then I proceeded on writing these thoughts down.
Am I crying? Yes. But it's not because the pups passed but because I never got to spend much time with them. Nakakapanghinayang. I could have known them better, or observed them more closely, maybe I would have seen that something was wrong, maybe I could have seen that they were having trouble breathin
g, maybe I could hav
e seen that their annoying bowel movement transcended excitement. Maybe... I am crying because of the grief the great equalizer brings, I am crying because of the jerking reminder that death is real, but mostly, I am crying because of lost times.
I know a lot of you think, "ano ba yan, aso lang naman yan." But dogs are more than that. After a long day, when you get home from schoo
l or work, even before you open the gate, your dogs are already barking excitedly because they missed you so much. Even after you hit them hard because you're not in the mood when they want to play, and they make kulit, they forgive you and they forget. Because cliche as it may sound, dogs are really man's best friend. When all your friends are at some or other party, when your family is at the brink of disowning you because of your failure, your dogs are always there for you. They just want you to be there, they just w
ant a few moments of your time, they just want to be with you.
I'm gonna
miss Tootsie and Zachie,
and Brun
o, and all my dogs who have been my loyal friends. I w
ant to keep on babbling
abo
ut dogs because I
kno
w that once I stop writing and begin to
read what I've written, more tears are only
gonna fall. But I also know that it would be i
mpossible to cram all my great experiences with my four-legged family in one entry, so for now, I am just going to content myself with remembering what was.
Currently listening to: American Boy
Currently reading: The Vampire Armand
Currently watching: America's Funniest Home Videos
